It was early in the morning when the story scrolled across my newsfeed and hit me square in the face. Matt Lauer? Seriously?
A string of famous men’s names has recently shocked the nation with revelations of their sexual misconduct. But I sit here wondering, who is next?
As the days go by and more names are added to this disturbing list I feel sick inside. How is it possible that so many public figures could be this awful behind the scenes? I don’t have an answer but I’m thankful that these dirty sins are coming to light.
I grapple with deep conversations with my older kids about right & wrong, about the world, and about sex.
A strange feeling rushes over me as I recognize my thought pattern over the last few years. Somehow, I could see the injustices, the slow collapse. However, I never saw what was really hiding right around the corner. Although I kept these feelings to myself, I can’t stay silent any longer.
This culture which has bred promiscuity has given birth to diseased thinking. Many of us have grown enslaved to the lies of this society. We’ve been truly deceived.
It’s a culture where girls and woman have to tip-toe through the muck, learning at a really young age to turn the other way. We are taught to pretend we aren’t seeing what we are seeing. Because it isn’t you, it’s me. We learn that boys will be boys and there is nothing we can do about it.
You see, as a woman, it’s hard to find your voice in this man’s world.
And so it was this Summer when my plane landed in Las Vegas. We were a part of a singing competition that met in Sin City.
It just so happened that the hotel we were staying at was also a casino where ladies dance on tables while men play Poker at their feet. It’s a place where the tourist brag that whatever happens there remains a quiet mystery only shared by a lucky few. And yet, the culture of Vegas has crept into every town in America. We’ve accepted that things are just as they are and there is nothing that is going to change.
While I was in Vegas, one morning I mistakingly tapped my Facebook App and read what some other singers were saying about the locale of this convention. Questions were raised like is this really family-friendly? Is it the place to be for future events? How should we shield our children’s eyes as we walked from the restaurant to the venue at night? There were seriously half nude woman shaking their hips as we rushed by.
And even as I hid behind my glossy screen I was met by comments that echoed what I had learned all my life. Boys will be boys. They want to come out and play. It’s Vegas, Baby. It’s time to have some fun.
And a part of my heart freezes. A tiny bit of hope dies. In a world where women have to tip-toe and beg. In a society where we speak the words of equality and yet we walk the steps of oppression, I wonder. I wonder if there is hope for America.
I’m scared. I’m scared watching the news and scrolling my feed. What other sins will come to light? It isn’t just one or two. There is an epidemic of injustice that runs through the veins of this great nation.
Men & women, the time to stand up and fight has come. We must fight against discrimination. We must stand shoulder to shoulder and say enough.
Enough to the culture that made it ok for a seemingly respectable man to push a button under his desk to trap women, pushing them into inappropriate relationships.
Enough to a culture that asks women to dance on tables.
Enough to a civilization that says it’s ok to pay to play.
Enough to a society where it’s acceptable for a teen-girls magazine to publish how-tos on anal sex.
Enough to a culture that preys on ensnaring women in the world of prostitution.
Enough to a culture that turns its eyes when more and more have become addicted to pornography.
Enough to a society that makes light-hearted jokes about woman’s body parts.
Enough to a country which advocates for revealing clothing and mocks the modesty movement.
Enough to accepting the lie that men don’t have self-control.
Enough to pretending that no means yes.
Enough to us pretending that the feminist movement helped us in the way that society says it did.
Because
As long as men can use their power to sneak sexual favors.
As long as men can hide their lust in the darkness.
As long as men can taunt and tease.
As long as men pretend she was asking for it.
As long as we make excuses for his porn addiction.
As long as we hide our shame.
As long as women pretend like it’s all ok…
We have unknowingly agreed with a lie that women are here for men’s pleasure, to be looked at like objects, to be treated like a worthless piece of trash.
I’m raising 3 little girls in this horrible, vile world. And it’s time to find my voice. Join with me in unison. Enough.
And as bad as all of the scandals, promiscuity, and pornography are, what saddens my heart all the more is that the culture’s way of handling it is to raise girls to believe they should just be as vile about sex. It’s turned into a ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ mentality that is the complete wrong direction!
DAMN IT! Now I’m all riled up! I have a two year old daughter and thinking about the world I have to raise her in honestly makes me puke. I’m terrified for the things she will experience as a woman and I pray to God that my husband and I have set a good foundation for her before any of it happens.
Amen! So much truth here. It is time to say enough.
I feel scared too … and worried and disappointed … but I am glad it is all coming in the open and it is like a society cleansing. Hopefully moving forward women will feel no shame and more empowerment.
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My heart is sickened not only by our nation, but by what Christian men are perpetrating against their wives. They are so deceived that they think they are not doing wrong to cause medical harm to their wives in the bedroom. May God bring all these men to justice. But better yet, may God convict them of their sin, and may they be horrified by what they have done. This is not love.
I’m just sad, our whole world needs Jesus in a great big way! Nothing is shocking anymore, I don’t watch the news because it’s so bad.
I pray I’m doing enough to lead my kids to Jesus!
I’m sad and angry by all of this too. But there’s this thing nagging at the edges of my heart – what about all the good men who love, honor, and respect their wives, their vows, and their God? We need to hear about them so girls know there is more to love and life than perverts and users. And our boys need to know there are good men they can look up to and be like. And truth be told, not all of us believe the nonsense that boys will be boys and that girls just gotta be nice. I’m old – almost 60 – and I KNEW I didn’t have to do anything of the things anyone out there might demand of me. Girls and boys (think about all the female teachers up on charges for molesting boys!) NEED the message that no is often the right answer. We need to empower all children. And women need to realize they have more power than they think they do and maybe that will be the result of these revelations – I pray that it is so!
Girl. Good stuff. It’s refreshing to read something like this from your generation. I’m so glad you’re using your voice to speak up and defend righteousness. I just wish that men that perpetrate these vile deeds would remember their own mothers, daughters and sisters and ask themselves how they would like them to be treated.
Peace.
Thanks for this post! Enough is enough already! We have to teach these boys how to be towards girls so that they won’t depart from that when they are older.
Great post! I am also just disgusted and worried!! I can’t even imagine raising girls right now. What a scary time we live in!!
A few months ago, before these scandals blew up, I was so upset when i discovered (at least it is like this in Italy) that there is a specific code at the hospital for women who are victimis of abuse! It’s unacceptable that this is so convetional to have a specific code and that it sounds normal! We have to do something! IT’S NOT ACCEPTABLE ANYMORE!
I don’t think men using women for their pleasure or exerting their power over women is new at all. This has probably happened for decades or even centuries. But, finally, women are saying, “I’ve had enough. This is how I was treated, and it is not OK.” So, my hope is that this will be the best time to raise young girls (and boys, too). Hopefully, the courage of these brave women who have spoken up against powerful men will change our society and the culture of individual workplaces. By the time young girls become professional women, hopefully they will be treated equally, respectfully, and not sexualized. That’s my hope at least.
Thanks for this authentic blog post and for sharing from your heart. May we each shine our inner light and continue to lean forward with our ethics and values in tow. I do believe it causes an impact. xo
It’s heartbreaking that this is the culture we are a part of. As hard as it is, I’m thankful this aspect of culture is being spoken out about so heavily. Maybe things will be different for the next generation. I pray it will be!